SUNKEN BOATS AND HAPPY FAMILIES

had a great time at Lake Eppalock, although it should be called Eppalock River. The lake has dried up almost to the original river/s and it is interesting seeing old bridge pylons, fences and a sunken boat where there once was a lake.

My favorite Eppalock family, the Chudleigh’s (sorry Rhonda, who was profiled in Newsletter IV as the Queen of the caravan park) arrived on the Friday. I had been spying on their site all day waiting for them to arrive, bouncing up and down saying “are they here yet”, Claire kept tricking me saying “the Chudleighs are here” and laughing when my face crumpled in disappointment. I had a bottle of champagne at the ready and I gave them three minutes to unpack before I began stalking and hanging around them yapping at their heels.

Often they open a bottle of champagne just before dinner and as soon as I hear the champagne cork pop and then land on my roof I stick my head out of my van and say “did someone call me”. Their daughters, Kate 15 and Megan 11 have now started to say it when they are back in Melbourne and their mum thinks it is very scary.

Later on we all took a family walk, (doesn’t that sound nice and normal) down the boat ramp to have a look at the sunken boat on a mud bank in the middle of the river. On the way back, we walked around the shore and Kate’s thongs got sucked up by the quicksand mud and it was a big joint family effort to retrieve them from the foul smelling mud as the heavier you were, the faster you sunk, so I was in big trouble. Kate’s dad managed to get them out, but he looked like he was wearing super hero boots by the time he finished.

The next day, Megan and Kate and some other friends took a rubber blow up dinghy across the river to the mud bank in the middle so they could see the sunken boat up close. They had to paddle around dead trees clawing out of the water and crawl from the boat through the smelly mud to the higher drier ground. The adults sat and watched and I was very supportive of the kids adventure, shouting things out to them like “WATCH OUT BEHIND YOU” trying to scare them.

Claire is funny, she observes other families and ticks off some internal mental list, that compares them to her idea of the perfect family or the Brady Bunch.
She watches the relationships of the parents and the children, assesses their lifestyle and assets. Sometimes I see her doing it and I say, “you like this family don’t you” She nods her head and then positions them on another mental lists of families that she would like to live with if anything ever happens to me. At the moment the Chudleigh's are at the top of the list and I better be careful that Claire doesn’t poison me .

Work - I am having trouble getting back into work mode since having five days off. I hope it is just a little depression and not shades of things to come. I am starting to have extreme episodes of paranoia at work where I feel they are going to get me for something that I have neglected to do to the level of their obsessive standards. Which is scary in itself as I should be responding like I am on Fox FM (like the phone call in Newsletter IX) and not turning into a gibbering idiot.

40th - I rang up the hall about my 40th birthday, but the price was nearly four times what I expected and I would prefer to spend that money on food/drink, plus they wanted a $500 bond. So I will try some other venues or come up with another plan.

Claire is away at Bev and Dad’s this week, she is also staying with my brother Paul and his girlfriend Marilyn. We still don’t know what sex Marilyns baby is as the baby kept its legs crossed again at the second scan.

My other brother David is getting married on April 6. I think we are invited as he gets very embarrassed by the family and he might try and keep us hidden from view of the guests. Of course, that makes mum and dad even more determined to perform.

David can’t cope with mum’s Xmas bbq and we were only at his house for around 10 minutes on Christmas day and I said to mum “come on, lets go, he has had enough of us”. He let us stay for another 10 minutes after that!

It took me about three attempts to get this weeks newsletter going, I couldn’t think of anything to write about because work has sapped my energy and stolen my happy thoughts. Well tomorrow is Friday and I have a nice weekend planned, dinner at my mother in laws, a 40th birthday party in Woodend and walking my dog on the beach.

This weeks profile :
Name : Blair F
Met : 1998 at a going away party for a friend who was going to the USA to work on the engineering design of fighter planes
Marital status : Living with Martin who used to work with me, but now has a very “high profile job” in the City. Martin and Blair came over from NZ over ten years ago.
Pets : A psycho pug called Coru – Coru is a maori word to describe the bud of a fern or new life. Martin has a golden retriever called Toby. The dogs and I don’t like each other very much.
Current position : He drags himself in daily to his job as head gardener at Knox City shopping center
Little known fact : When he told his mum and his auntie he was gay, they both said, “yes I know dear” and he said, well, thanks you could have told me!
Claim to fame : Is a fantastic, but as yet undiscovered, three dimensional artist
Loves : Trying to find the meaning of life and making their new home in the Laurimer estate at Doreen even more beautiful.
Hates : His job and nasty people.
Quote : (I cant think of one)